


You’ve Gotta be More Careful

by Anjika



Series: Codas and/or alternate canon reality [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Astroglide Cameo, Bottom Dean, Canon verse, Coda, Dean curses a lot in his head, Dean has unhealthy thoughts, Dean is eager to please, Dean just loves everyone so much and wants them all to be ok, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Kinda, Love, M/M, One sided confession, POV Dean, Porn with Feelings, Protective Castiel, Slightly - Freeform, Supportive Dean, Top Castiel, and maybe for one of them to fuck him into oblivion if it isn’t too much trouble, eager and continual consent, even though it's super not, goofy morons in love, not beta'd sorry frens (will take error correction comments), post 13.21, previous dean/men mentions, seemingly unrequited, slow gentle loving sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 22:01:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14554434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anjika/pseuds/Anjika
Summary: The night before they leave the camp, Dean just wants to make sure his family will stay safe the next day as they make their way back home. He wasn’t expecting his pleas to lead to... the most overwhelming sex he’s ever had in his life.





	You’ve Gotta be More Careful

**Author's Note:**

> Dean has lots of unhealthy thoughts, that are completely untrue, just fyi. In the context of this story there is something Cas never says and that’s on purpose because it gives me glorious angst to work with. <3  
> I like to think that Cas assumes it's obvious by his actions, and Dean hates himself too much to see it.  
> This fic was inspired by Chantal Kreviazuk’s Feels Like Home.

“You’ve gotta be more careful.” Dean says sitting next to his brother, the log isn’t particularly comfortable, but Dean has learned that comfort isn’t something he gets. At least he has the warmth of the fire to keep him from the freezing night in this hellhole. 

“I know.” Sam has the decency to look uncomfortable, as he sips his beer. “They caught me off guard, it won’t happen again.”

“It better not.” Dean grumbles, then remembering Sam’s words about dying together, he did his best to soften his next words. “No one is dying here, you get me?” Dean makes eye contact with his brother. “I can’t do it, ok?”

Sam stares at him for a long moment. Dean’s trying to figure out the emotions in his little brother’s expression, but it’s too much too fast and then Sam is standing up. “I’m gonna get some rest.” He tosses his empty beer bottle into the woods. “We both need to be sharp tomorrow, right?” There’s a small smile on Sam’s lips and Dean sees the concession for what it is. Sam will do the best he can, but it’s dangerous and they both have to be careful. Dean nods back to his brother and watches him leave the warmth of the fire.

He should rest. Sam’s right. But there is one more thing that’s been nagging at him, someone else he needs to have words with and as he walks around the fire to get another beer, he spots Castiel staring out into the woods. On watch for anything that might come in the night.

Dean grabs his beer from the cooler and a second for the angel, even though he knows he won’t drink it. He pops both caps off anyway as he plops himself down at a picnic table, still near enough to the fire that he isn’t freezing his balls off, but much closer to Castiel. “Hey Cas? Wanna beer?” 

The Angel turns to him, a tired look in his eyes. But then again, Cas always looks tired. Dean wished he could do more than offer a drink that does nothing for him. Still, Cas gives him a tired smile and walks over to sit next to him, taking the beer and staring down at it like he’s wondering if it’s worth the effort of drinking. 

“I know you don’t need to sleep, but you should get some rest. The wards will hold, and we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.” Dean sips at his beer. Staring off into the woods.

“I’d feel better making sure everyone is safe tonight.” The angel’s voice, with it’s signature growl does something to Dean’s insides and he’s so tired of ignoring it. Tomorrow is big and everyone’s gonna be in danger. 

Dean sighs. “I get that. But you’ve gotta protect yourself too Cas.”

“I was brought back to see this through, Dean. If I can give my life so our family is safe, that’s not much of a sacrifice.”

Dean feels the rage inside him but it goes off like a damp squib and he’s left just feeling hollow. “You remember purgatory right?”

Cas blinks owlishly at him. “What about it?”

Dean takes a sip of his drink for all the dumb bravery it’ll give him. This could well be the last moment he has alone with Cas if he’s determined to die in this fight. Dean knows he’s gotta bring out the big guns if he’s gonna convince Cas he has a reason to live other than being useful in their fights. So he lets himself go back there. Back to how he felt in purgatory. Where nothing else mattered but making sure his angel was safe. 

“I wanted to get you out, to come back with me. You had to trick me to stop that from happening.” Dean takes another sip. Trying to ignore the anger bubbling up inside him at the memory.

“Dean. I had to, you never would have let me stay.”

“I know.” Dean sighs, letting out some of the tension building inside him. “Because I wanted you with me.” He chuckled but it came out wrong, sad. “And when you let go I couldn’t...” He swallowed back a lump in his throat. He hated how the memory still affected him. That he could barely speak the words. But Castiel was patient and waited for Dean to say what he needed to. “I couldn’t deal with it, so I decided I was wrong. That I was the one that fucked up because it was easier than knowing that you didn’t want to come with me.”

“Dean-”

“And it wasn’t just that you felt you deserved to be punished, because I know how much you love self flagellation. It was the fact that you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t come home with me. You thought being tortured in purgatory was better than staying with me.” 

Dean watched the breeze ruffle the trees. This place was almost a little like purgatory. He wondered if Cas was going to try to stay here and leave him again. He looked over at Cas, hoping he could read what the angel was thinking on his face. But he didn’t have to. “Dean, I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I need you to survive this and come home with me, with all of us, because we’re all making it out of here.” Dean watched Cas’s expression carefully, but he didn’t like what he saw.

“It’s dangerous here, Dean. Sam died. We could all die, that’s a possibility you need to accept.”

“I can’t accept it, Cas.” 

“Dean-”

“When you died, I couldn’t-” Dean’s throat closed up and he had to swallow down a large chug of beer just to get the words out. “I can’t survive that Cas, not you and not Sam. Not again.”

Castiel turned fully to face him. “Dean. People die. You’ve been through it before, you will survive.”

Dean didn’t know if it was the liquor or the damned overwhelming need to stop Cas from doing something that might take him away from Dean forever, but his hand reached out without his conscious command and suddenly he was holding Cas’s cheek, his thumb brushing against stubble. 

“Not if it’s you.” He could feel the tears threatening to fall, but managed to blink them back looking deeply into Cas’s eyes silently begging him to understand. “I tried last time Cas, it didn’t take. I need you alive and I need you to stay with me. When you’re gone I feel... I’m lost Cas. I need you here to keep me grounded, to keep me from doing stupid shit. Things are better when you’re around, I need you. I love you, I’m... in love with you. And not for your powers or how useful you can be, just because it’s you.”

Cas looked like he wanted to speak, but Dean was on a roll now spilling his guts and he couldn’t seem to stop.

“And every time I say that... you leave.” A tear did escape this time, but Dean ignored it. “I know I can’t ask you to feel the same way I do, Cas, you’re an angel, and you don’t- probably can’t feel what I do for you.” He brushed his thumb along Cas’s cheek, looking into those blue eyes wishing it wasn’t true, but knowing very well how much emotions and angels don’t mix. “But that doesn’t mean I need you to stay any less. I just want you here, with me, even if you don’t- and I need you to stay safe, because I can’t face a world without you in it.”

Dean released Cas’s face turning away. Feeling the tears trickling, he rubbed his face with a shirt sleeve. “I need another beer.” He stood and took a few steps back to the cooler, his hands were shaking. He just told Cas that he- he closed his eyes, letting the coolness of the air rising out of the melted ice cool his warm face. 

A hand landed on his shoulder. “I think we should get some rest.” Dean blinked looking up at Cas. “It’s a big day tomorrow, and we’re all going to have to be at our best if we want to make it out of this alive.” Dean stood, a little wobbly on his feet. He could have probably drunk all of the beer in that cooler and been fine, but one emotional conversation with Cas and he felt like he was gonna fall over.

Gently Cas placed a hand on Dean’s back and led him to one of the empty cabins that Dean had placed his bags in earlier. Dean expected him to leave the minute Dean was situated, like every other damn time Dean had told him he wanted him around. But instead Cas was toeing off his shoes and pulling his tie loose. “Cas?” 

Cas shrugged a little taking off not just the overcoat but the suit coat underneath. God he was practically naked, Dean’s knew his eyes were bugging out as he watched Cas start unbuttoning his shirt. Thankfully, for Dean’s dignity, he stopped at two buttons. But then he met Dean’s eyes and there was a smoldering look in Castiel’s eyes that Dean had never seen. “I just thought, since this could well be our last night on earth...”

Oh yeah, Dean’s dignity was definitely done. It was in fact, at this moment threatening to make everything very uncomfortable in his pants.

“Are you propositioning me Cas?” Dean couldn’t hide his smile, minutes ago he was about to cry and now he felt a giddy feeling bubbling up within him. Shit he was screwed, especially if Cas kept looking at him like that.

Cas didn’t let up the damn smoulder, but there was a gentleness to his voice when he asked, “is it working?”

Dean started giggling fucking giggling. God he was so done. He swallowed back the emotions that wouldn’t seem to stop. “Yeah Cas. Yeah, it’s working.”

Cas smirked. Fuck, that smirk. And then he was taking one step towards Dean and then another. Dean swallowed not sure what expression was on his face other than, thankfully that it was clearly encouraging Cas, as Cas gently, so goddamned gently like Dean was a fucking porcelain doll that would shatter if he moved too fast, Cas slipped his hands under Dean’s jacket and slid it off his shoulders. “You are wearing far too many clothes.” He mumbled tossing the jacket next to Cas’s many jackets.

“You’re one to talk.” Dean grinned as Cas gave him a scathing look before reaching up for Dean’s flannel. 

Another gentle touch another shirt gone, and Dean was in his t-shirt. There was something so soothing about the way Cas was undressing him. It wasn’t hurried, the way most of Dean’s one night stands were. It was gentle, slow. Cas taking a moment to admire Dean as each layer was stripped away. This wasn’t- it’s not what Dean thought of when he thought about sex. Sex was quick and dirty, hard and rough, but this? This was gentle, loving, and Dean almost wished they could go even slower, savor the moment even more. Oh fuck he was so screwed.

Cas made to grab for his t-shirt but Dean was smirking himself now as he oh so gently unpopped one of Cas’s shirt buttons, then another, and another, and he was standing there staring at Cas’s unblemished chest. Yes, this was good, this was very good. Gently he let his hands touch Cas’s chest, his pecs, up to his shoulders and then he was slipping the shirt off of Cas, down his arms, their hands touched briefly as he slipped it off and tossed it with the others. 

When he met Cas’s eyes he was surprised to find Cas looking as lost in the moment as he was. When Cas again reached for Dean’s t-shirt his face looked slightly tentative and lifted his head to make eye contact with Dean. “Is this ok?”

Dean smiled and he could feel the way joy filled his whole body. “Yes, Cas this is so much more than ok.” That seemed like all the encouragement Cas needed as he tugged at the hem of Dean’s shirt and pulled it over his head. 

At some point after drinking in each others toplessness Cas was touching him again, chest, shoulders then back down again, hands brushing Dean’s sides gently. Then back up again, stilling at his tattoo, tracing it with gentle fingers. Dean took one of Cas’s hands in his own and placed it on his cheek, letting their eyes meet. Cas’s other hand came up to join it and he was leaning forward. Dean’s heart skipped a beat, this was it, he watched the way Cas’s eyes closed how he leaned in, and Dean met him halfway. Lips touching, a tingle rose through Dean, he wanted it all and he wanted it now. But this was Cas, so he let Cas set the pace. Gentle chaste kisses, hands roaming all over his upper body. 

Dean gasped when Cas reached down and started unbuckling his belt, but he was pulled back into an even deeper kiss as Cas seemed ready to start adding tongue to the mix, and shit, Dean felt hazy, like he was drunk, was this really happening? He didn’t even know what his own hands were doing, he was so overwhelmed with Cas’s gentle way of making love that he realized he was just hanging on for dear life. One of his hands had curled into Cas’s hair, the other was digging his nails into a shoulder blade. He would have worried about drawing blood the way he was digging in, but Cas was an angel, he could take it, and when Cas met his eyes again the look there made Dean wonder if he liked it, liked seeing Dean come completely undone in front of him. 

And then Cas’s hand was in Dean’s pants and he shouted, “fuck! Cas.” That was good, god this was all so, soooo-

Cas’s hand stilled. “Dean, are you all right?”

It took him a moment to catch his breath, “Yes... please, I need...” Thank god that’s all Cas needed, Dean wasn’t sure he could manage another word, especially with Cas’s hand on his cock. Castiel was stroking his cock. Dean was so dead, so fucking, how could he ever go back after feeling-

Suddenly Cas was lifting him up and with surprising gentleness, given what a feat of strength it was, laying him in the bed. It was a bumpy gross cot, but somehow in that moment, it was the most amazing bed he’d ever laid in, especially when Cas was pulling off Dean’s pants, boxers, and socks and tossing them aside in one swift motion, before straddling Dean. 

Dean met Cas’s eyes and there was a playfulness there. And then Cas started undoing his own belt. Shit, shit shit shit, Dean was practically panting. His cock was definitely ready for this, but Dean wasn’t sure he was and he gulped as he watched the belt go flying. 

“Dean?” Cas’s hands stilled at the button on his slacks. 

“Y-yeah?” With effort Dean pulled himself up on his elbows, while Cas was still sitting on his thighs.

“Are you sure-”

Dean grabbed Cas’s shoulders and pulled him down on top of Dean so he could kiss him and lay back down in the bed. But god kissing Cas was electric and once it started he didn’t want to stop, but he needed to use his words so he broke off the kiss and let himself breathe for a second so he could speak properly. “If I want you to stop, I’ll tell you.” He searched Cas’s eyes, “Unless you want to...?” 

Cas rutted against him, just once, just enough to make Dean’s dick know who’s in charge, and enough to make Dean gasp desperately. Then Cas smirked at him a-goddamned-gain. “I’m rather enjoying myself actually.”

Dean almost laughed and then Cas was shifting back up, removing the weight from his dick and... Dean whined, he goddamned whined. This man could destroy him, Dean realized. Cas could do anything to him and he would want it, he wanted everything. He wanted Cas. And this? God he’d never even imagined Cas would want to have sex with him, let alone... this. He had never, never experienced anything like this. The want, the need, and not for the prize, the big O, just for this, for anything Cas wanted to do to him, to do for him. He would take it all and hord it greedily in his memories forever. Even if they never had another night like this...

If they never did this again...

If Cas died, or left him, if he realized Dean wasn’t worth staying for, if all the trouble with heaven kept the angel from him...

In that moment, as he watched Cas unbutton his pants, Dean realized this could well be all they ever got. Just this one moment, this perfect night in this horrible world. And he reached up again, pulling Cas down on top of him, into a deep kiss. He felt Cas struggle to kick off the pants and pulled away from the kiss. “Didn’t think that through did you?”

Cas looked frustrated. “Why are clothes so difficult?” Dean grinned leaning forward and kissing the little crease in Cas’s brow. 

Shifting just a little Dean was able to slide Cas’s pants off his hips with gentle hands and pull them down, then he kicked them aside. “Better?” 

Cas rounded on him, his face nice and smouldery again. “Much.” And they were kissing again, only this time Dean could feel the warm hardness of Cas’s cock brushing against his. 

Dean couldn’t help himself from bucking under Cas’s weight. “Fuck, you feel so good Cas.” The words came out as almost a moan, and if Dean wasn’t freaking out about never feeling him again, he might have been embarrassed by the admission, instead he was running his arms down Cas’s sides and enjoying the feeling of closeness at having both of them so completely naked and in each other’s arms, for as long as he could have it. 

Cas kissed a path down Dean’s jaw, to his neck, and lower. Small kisses, gentle touches, and then Dean felt like electricity surged through his body when Cas goddamned licked his fucking nipple. Dean jerked causing his dick to press into Cas’s chest and shit... shit...

There was a small pause as if Cas was waiting for something. And Dean realized he wanted permission. No one had ever been so gentle with him, and Dean found he liked it, he liked Cas waiting to make sure it was ok, he liked being cared for, not just some sexy piece of ass that his partner couldn’t wait to debauch just... Cas made him feel like he was special, like what he wanted mattered. He hoped Cas would feel the same way tomorrow, when they were running into danger. He hoped he’d made it clear that what he wanted was Cas alive, and he realized that that’s what this was about. This was Cas’s answer, he was giving Dean what he wanted. But Dean needed to know that Cas wanted this too.

But he was a damned coward. 

Dean met Cas’s eyes and nodded. And the angel leaned back down and started sucking that damn nipple. Dean’s whole body started moving with the feeling, he couldn’t seem to stop bucking up into Cas. Yes, Cas was giving him everything he’d ever dreamed of, when he’d dared to entertain the possibility. But Cas was an angel and maybe his heart wasn’t something he could give to Dean, and maybe it was enough that Cas was willing to give him this. Maybe it was enough that Dean could for just a little while pretend that this was love. 

And then Cas was moving down, licking a stripe down his chest. Oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck. Cas hesitated when he reached Dean’s dick, waiting for permission again, but this time Dean didn’t give it. He reached down and pulled Cas back upward to his face. The angel went willingly waiting once their faces were close enough for more kissing, but Dean didn’t want that just now either. 

Cas looked worried. “Is something wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong Cas. I was thinking, though...” 

Cas looked deep into his eyes and Dean couldn’t think for a second. “I want you to fuck me.” Those weren’t the words he was planning, but once he said them, he knew they were true. He wanted it, wanted it so bad. And the way Cas’s face darkened with lust, the way Dean could feel Cas’s dick hard against his own. Fuck yes.

“I think that can be arranged.” Cas’s face grew serious for a moment. “Have you... done this before?”

“Yeah, I mean.” Dean did his best to keep his voice level, and not show his trepidation. “It’s been awhile, if you take it slow, I should be fine.”

Cas swallowed. Dean could see now that Cas’s own lust was pushing him to move faster, but Cas nodded, his face serious. “I’ll need to prepare you first.”

Dean huffed. “Yeah, I was hoping you would.” The wink and smirk Dean added only seemed to drive Cas further down the rabbit hole. And Dean watched self-satisfied as Cas had to look away and take a moment to calm himself. 

And then Cas got up. And Dean had a moment of fear that he would walk away before Cas turned and met his eyes and that smoulder was turned up to fucking 11. “I require lube.”

How was that so fucking hot? He sounded like a sexy robot, all gravel and gruff. “F-fuck Cas... my bag it’s...”

But Cas was already moving and rifling through the bag. 

“There’s a zipper inside...”

Cas found it, pulled the zip and triumphantly took out the little bottle of astroglide. “Why do you have this... on a hunt?” 

“Dude... you never know.” Dean grinned at him. And Cas huffed a slight laugh. 

“Well in this case, I am very glad you are over prepared for sex at all times, Dean.”

“Damn right.” Dean grinned at his angel, looking so cute and amused, he didn’t even care that Cas was judging him for his promiscuity, but if he thought Dean was going to stop carrying around lube after tonight he had another thing coming.

Cas pulled out a couple little individual condoms and looked at Dean, a question there. Dean shook his head. “I want to feel you.” Then realizing how ridiculous that sounded he amended. “If... if you want, I mean... it’s not like you have any STDs right?”

Cas tilted his head in confusion. 

“Uh...” Dean rolled his eyes at the confounded angel. “Sexually transmitted diseases, Cas. That’s what condoms are for.”

Cas eyed him, like he didn’t really believe that but he conceded. “I don’t no, you think it would be more pleasurable without the condom? I don’t think humans have enough nerve endings in their-”

“Whoa, Cas. Come on dude. Are we gonna talk about biology or are you gonna fuck me?”

Cas tossed the condoms back in the bag. “I just wanted to make sure. I don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you.” The earnestness in Cas’s voice calmed Dean. He wasn’t backing out or running away, he just wanted Dean to be safe. Fuck, how did Dean get so lucky to have this perfect wonderful angel in his life? Now, if he could just keep him.

“Cas.” Dean sighed, wanting to be fully honest with Cas since he just seemed so damn worried about hurting him. “It’s always a little uncomfortable at first, but once we get going it’ll be good, I promise. We don’t need them unless you want them.”

Cas nodded, seemingly satisfied. Dean wondered how many more times Cas would ask him for permission before he finally got that gorgeous cock up his ass, he needed it like yesterday. His own cock flagging a little begging for attention laying against his own belly. 

When Cas was back at the end of the bed, Dean bent his knees up and planted his feet on the bed, giving Cas what was probably one hell of a view judging by Cas’s lust darkened expression. 

Dean had to hand it to him. If Cas didn’t love him he was giving one hell of a show, you can’t fake that much sexual desire. Well... maybe you can, but Cas was never a good actor. Dean remembered that night in the brothel, Cas looking absolutely terrified by the very idea of sex. But now, now he moved with confidence, with desire and fuck, Dean was definitely fully erect again.

And Cas kneeled on the bed between Dean’s arched legs. Dean leaned back, knowing he needed to relax. At the first touch of those gentle fingers at his opening, he couldn’t hold back the clench. Cas stilled, and Dean took a deep breath relaxing again. Cas was maybe a little over eager with the lube, it was probably going everywhere, but Dean couldn’t be bothered to care when Cas was finally, finally putting something in him. 

Gently, so gently, almost too gently Cas eased a finger in, then applied more lube, like he really needed that much for one finger and god! Dean’s entire body rocked up as Cas came back with two fingers and oh, ooooohhhh... Dean was fucking moaning. 

“You like this.” There was a smirk in Cas’s voice, but Dean’s head was flung back in ecstasy, hands clawing at the sheets under him and he could only hear the smugness.

Dean gasped. “Fuck, yes. More.”

Cas added another finger and Dean winced. “No, no, too much too fast Cas, dial it back.”

And Dean had to hand it to him, he learned quickly. Three fingers became two, and with some gentle coaxing Dean was moaning with abandon, Cas’s fingers gently easing him open. 

Dean thought his whole body would burst into flames, fuck, it’d been too long since he last did this, he’d forgotten how good it all felt. Dean was usually in too much of a hurry to get off, to spend all the time easing himself open for a partner. But this... every moment was the best moment, because it was Cas and he just couldn’t get enough of Cas wanting to make him happy, of Cas wanting to make him feel good. 

After a while he realized he was pushing down, trying to get Cas deeper wanting to feel those sparks when he pressed up against Dean’s prostate, but he couldn’t get Cas’s fingers deep enough. He groaned. “Cas... I need...”

Cas added another finger and yeah, Dean was getting loose but he wasn’t dick loose yet. 

Dean whined. Wanting more but knowing Cas wasn’t going to do anything if he wasn’t ready. And then Cas shifted a little and Dean spasmed as his whole body lit up with that fuzzy crackle of arousal he’d been yearning for. “There... yes....” Dean was so fucked. He could barely form words. He could feel the need mounting with every brush of Cas’s fingertips into that spot. 

Without even realizing it all of the remaining tension left Dean’s body, he was putty in Cas’s hands. And those hands... fuck. One rubbing him in the right place, Cas’s other hand gently massaging his inner thigh. Dean’s own hands clawing at the sheets, he wanted to touch too, to make Cas feel as good as Dean was feeling. But Dean’s head was thrown back and Cas seemed very focused and... and... Dean’s breathing was ragged. Dean was so used to being on the giving end of pleasure, yeah he got off too, but he tended to get off on getting his partner off, this was so different than anything- but he needed to give something back, he needed-

He needed Cas right the fuck now.

With force of will he didn’t even know he had he pulled back from Cas’s incredible hands, sitting up and fucking flinging himself at Cas. Cas seemed surprised but didn’t object to getting kissed deeply and fiercely and pulled back into Dean’s arms. 

He didn’t even object when Dean flipped Cas over onto his back, all without breaking lip contact. Before he started licking a path down Castiel’s beautiful uninjured chest, kissing each spot where he knew scars would be left on a human. Cas had died so many fucking times and Dean wouldn’t have it, he wouldn’t have this be all Cas giving to him, he wanted to give something back too. 

When Dean kissed and licked his way down Cas’s chest, taking a moment to savor the feel of Cas’s tattoo against his tongue. The tattoo that had kept human Cas safe when Dean couldn’t. Dean waited, kneeling between Cas’s parted legs, looking from that fucking glorious cock to Cas’s face. “Looks like you’re flagging a little there buddy, mind if I prep you this time?” Cas’s eyes widened and he looked over at the bottle of lube laying next to them on the bed. “Oh we’re not gonna need that sweetheart.” Dean winked and in a fluid motion leaned down and took Cas’s entire cock into his throat. 

Cas gasped maybe shocked, but definitely into it, and Dean hummed around the hardening rod of flesh in his throat. Pulling a desperate moan from the angel. “Dean...”

Dean let his throat go slack and pulled off with one giant lick from base to tip. “Whazzat? Did you want me to stop?”

Cas glared at him. “No but if you keep looking at me like that I won’t make it to fucking you.” 

Dean smirked, oh yeah, he’s definitely into it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dean teased, kissing Cas’s cockhead sweetly before engulfing him again. 

Dean had done this enough to know exactly what he was doing. He kept eye contact as he moved slowly up keeping the tip in his mouth and then back down, letting his tongue tease as he applied pressure hollowing his cheeks and sucking, letting himself feel every fucking inch of the perfect cock in his mouth. 

Cas leaned back with a fantastic moan that Dean would never fucking forget. Oh god, this was too good. Dean closed his eyes and let himself fall into the rhythm. Licking sucking, popping off and licking down the sides and then fully impaling his throat on that cock again. He wasn’t pushing Cas fast enough to cum, but he wasn’t particularly interested in doing anything else but keeping Cas making those little moans and whimpers and hell, Dean had never enjoyed sucking cock so damn much. It wasn’t really his thing. Sucking a cock usually meant dark alleyways and an extra $20 for food the next few weeks. But this? He was doing this because he loved it, he fucking loved Cas and wanted to hear him whimper and moan in pleasure forever. He pulled off panting realizing how fucking fucked he was yet again. How could he go back to what they were before? How could he let this be the only time he got to have Cas?

“Dean... I need...” And fuck he was back on that cock. Anything. He thought. Anything you need Cas. Pushing down feeling Cas’s pulse racking up inside that fucking cock. He hummed again, a little more forcefully and felt Cas shudder with pleasure under him. And then there was a hand in his hair, gently urging him back up. Dean complied, slightly surprised at how little Cas needed to emote to get Dean to do anything he wanted. 

Cas panted catching his breath. “Dean. We should... I’m not going to make it if you keep doing that.” 

And oh yeah, the fucking. They were going to do that weren’t they? Dean felt hazy with arousal and need but he sat up obediently and crawled over Cas’s body until he could kiss his angel again, and shit he probably tasted like cock, but Cas didn’t seem to mind, arching up and licking deeply into Dean’s mouth. 

The world spun and it took a second for Dean to realize Cas had flipped him so Cas was back on top. Dean obligingly spread his legs as Cas squirted more lube on his fingers and rubbed it down his saliva slick cock. And fuck, Cas touching himself. It made something tremble deep inside of Dean and he stowed that information away for later, because there would be a later, he told himself firmly. There was no way Cas wasn’t enjoying himself Dean was sure of it. Even if Cas couldn’t feel how Dean felt and what difference did feelings make anyway? Dean had had plenty of great sex without feelings, and if Cas was enjoying this then maybe that would be enough to keep him coming back. 

And then Cas was rubbing more lube into his slightly re-tightened hole and “Ffffuuuuuuuuuck Cas.”

“I take it that means you’re still enjoying this?” On the last word Cas curled his fingers into that spot and daaaaaammmmn. Dean’s whole body bucked wanting more. 

“Mmmm...” was all Dean could manage as his body shuddered from Cas’s gentle, but no less intense touch. And that was all it took, Cas removed his fingers and positioned himself at Dean’s entrance. 

Cas met Dean’s eyes and Dean nodded immediately not wanting any more delays before he got that fucking cock inside him. 

Dean groaned as Cas lifted him a little and pressed that huge fucking thing into him, little by little, and yeah, maybe Dean tightened up more than he thought, but a little deep breathing as Cas paused to let Dean adjust practically every inch and by the time Cas was almost bottoming out Dean was ready for more, ready for Cas to “fucking move.” he moaned. 

“Are you su-” 

“I swear to god Cas if you ask one more stupid question-”

Cas shoved the rest of himself inside of Dean in one quick intense push and Dean whined louder than he ever had in his whole goddamn life. It did not feel that big when it was in Dean’s throat fuck. Fuck... but Cas waited, and Dean panted. “You’re so... big.” 

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an admonition.” Cas’s voice was surprisingly steady. Dean felt like he had the fucking moon in his ass. Ok maybe he was a little rusty with anal, it had been a while since he let anyone do this to him. But hell, he just had to look up into those too blue eyes and he melted, and the pressure eased.

With a deep breath Dean smiled back at his angel. “Just an observation. I’m good, you can move now,” Then with added sweetness and a sly grin he amended, “I’d like it very much if you fucked me now, Castiel.”

Using his full name seemed to do something to Cas, another goodie for later Dean told himself, as Cas’s face darkened with lust and he eased his cock back and moved himself into a slightly better position. When he thrust forward again he pressed right along Deans prostate and fucking hell Dean was moaning like a whore putting on a show, only it wasn’t a show Cas’s cock and his fucking skill was unbelievable. 

Dean had never had sex like this. Where did Cas learn to- “Oooohhhh.... Fuck me.” 

“I believe I am.” Cas huffed grumpily.

Dean whimpered on the next thrust again, pushing right along that fucking gland. He struggled to get his voice out over the unending moans. “I m-” Dean gasped as Cas pushed in again and again, and again. Building up speed, but not enough to push them over the edge just yet, it was still too gentle, too fucking good, but he could feel it building up all the same. “Where did you learn-” Dean was cut off by his own moan again. 

“I’m a quick learner.” there was pride there, Dean realized, meeting Cas’s now revived smoulder and hell yeah, he always wanted to see Cas that confident and proud of himself. 

“That you aaaaaaaahhhhhhh” Ok yeah no point in talking when Cas was doing whatever the fuck he was doing and it was so fucking good. 

And for a while that’s all it was, Dean moaning with abandon as Cas thrusted and thrusted and god, this was too good. Dean was gonna blow his load relatively untouched at this rate. He should be embarrassed by how much he was losing himself in this but he didn’t have the presence of mind to care. He reached out blindly, wanting desperately again to touch to feel, to taste. And Cas obliged him repositioning so he could lean over and kiss Dean while they fucked and wow, yes more please.

Dean buried a hand in Cas’s now sweaty but fucking gorgeous hair, the other one going back to claw at Cas’s back, pressing them together, the friction of Cas’s chest on his cock so fucking perfect. As they kissed around Dean’s need to fucking moan every few seconds. 

They writhed together on the bed, completely lost in each other. When Dean pulled back he could see Cas was getting just as worked up as Dean was and Dean wanted to see more. He pushed himself back on the next stroke, taking Cas deep and when Cas moaned, Dean was sure that was gonna be it for him, but he needed more, so much more, and he kept doing it, meeting each thrust as they spiraled together in ecstacy. 

“Fuck Cas, I’m close.”

Cas leaned in and licked his fucking ear and whispered, all gravel and arousal, “Me too.”

And shit. This was it, they hadn’t even gotten rough at all and Dean was already at the edge from hearing that fucking him was getting Cas close. 

Cas licked and sucked at Dean’s earlobe as he pressed into Dean gentle, loving, and deep. “Cum for me Dean.”

And he did. Did he ever. Dean’s whole body locked up, he felt Cas’s hand tilting his head a little so they were looking into each others eyes as Dean’s whole world seemed to explode in one gigantic fucking climax.

He gasped, his brain muddled, overwhelmed, he couldn’t seem to put two thoughts together as Cas moved to pull out. But Dean grabbed his arm. “Inside.” he managed.

“You-”

“Please.” he whined ignoring how needy his voice sounded. 

And Cas nodded fucking Dean through the rest of his mind-shattering orgasm, and beyond, it was just starting to feel like too much when Cas froze thrusting deep and Dean could feel him cum. Dean trembled. Shit. It’s over.

Shit, shit, shit, fucking hell. 

Cas pulled out, and stared into Dean’s eyes. “Are you alright Dean?”

Dean pulled him into his arms snuggling into his warm angel, god he could fall asleep like this, even if they were a little sticky, sweaty and gross. “It was perfect Cas.” Too perfect. He’d never had sex like that, all gentle and loving. He wondered if that was just the way Cas did it. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t keen on the brothel, Cas needed to be with someone who he could make love to, not someone that just wanted sex.

Oh god, was this what making love is? Is this what loving someone was like?

He was so dead, fuck fuck fuck, why did he let them do this? Why didn’t he stop it? He’d never be able to go back to business as usual with Cas. He’s never get that fucking smoulder out of his head. He needed this.

He needed Cas.

But he needed Cas to love him.

The realization hit him like a shotgun full of rock salt to the gut. This wasn’t enough, casual sex with Cas couldn’t become a thing. Dean was too needy, he needed so much more and he’d just break himself trying to keep this going. But... not tonight. Tonight he was going to fall asleep in his angel’s arms and pretend that Cas could love him, that that was exactly what this was.

And he definitely was not going to think about how Cas had been human once with all the emotions and feelings and how Dean fucked that one right up. Nope. Never that.

So he snuggled in Cas’s arms as they lay in bed face to face and if Cas magicked away the mess, Dean was only going to smile softly and thank him and not think about how he would probably wake up alone in a cold bed, and everything else they would probably face tomorrow. 

Tonight was just for this, for them, being together as long as Dean could fight off the need to sleep, for the need to feel Cas’s arms around him, holding him tight. 

For the first time in his life Dean felt safe, he felt like he was home and whatever the morning brought he’d hold tight as long as he could.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading frens!~
> 
> This is my first time writing the porn so please, if you are so inclined, let me know how I did so I can do better next time. <3


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